Horny Weevils Spew On Themselves

Hockey is a contact sport. Anyone that has watched it or played it can expect that there will be some pushing and shoving and bumping and grinding. Well, maybe not so much grinding with no chicks in the league any more. Hey! Whatever happened to Andrew Dice Clay anyway? But I digress.

Tonight your beloved home town favorite Ringers delivered a much needed spanking to the ornery and universally-despised Horniblows Weevils. To say it was a chippy game understates the 20 penalties doled out to both teams. All I can say is that there was a lot of pushing and shoving, and it was all about equal until the Weevils freaked out like Somalis hopped up on khat. Apparently, there were some bogus posts on the Weevils website, allegedly by yours truly, that inflamed the Weevils. The Ringers, who are used to their own website being updated less often than the Dead Sea Scrolls, arrived completely unaware of the Weevils malicious intent.

Incidentally, if you don't get the picture reference above, but you can quote any line from Caddyshack or Raising Arizona, you need to go rent Napoleon Dynamite. Seriously. I mean right freaking now.

Lowest moment for the Weevils in our opinion: #9, affectionately referred to as Kenny Rogers, completely undermined his fame as the Weevils' only shootout game winner this season, when he refused to shake hands with the Ringers after the game and went straight to the locker room.

So Joey Bag-O fell short of a hatrick, but tried very hard in the 2nd and 3rd to complete his mission. Marc Lavergne found a few openings with a goal and an assist. Joe Saundercook also delivered goal and assist, and this time no penalties! Apparently the anger management classes are paying off. Brian Chauder returned SOME dignity to the defense with 2 assists and a sweet goal early in the third. And team second-place-points-leader Craig Pilkington was able to offer a goal and at least 2 assists. As the only unmarried-but-betrothed player on the team, we might expect young Pilk to have a groupie or possibly even a posse in attendance, but alas our section of the arena was quiet.

But the game winner was delivered by none other than "Killer" Ken Nuebler with a sneaker through the 5-hole. I think Chuckles (Weevils goalie) was confused by the Bugs Bunny slow pitch. "1-2-3 -You're out!"

Game MVP went to Phil for a change even though he delivered absolutely nothing! By the way, Joe Eiden has $3000 worth of Armadillo Grill nachos coupons in his pocket at all times. Might be a good time to invite him to lunch...

Next week: Cunning Linguists, 8:45pm
Beer: Marc Lavergne, who promised to deliver genuine Canadian beer, and not any cheesy American crap.