Ringers hold their own against Linguists

WAKE FOREST - Reports are coming in from various places about last Tuesday's game between the 6 and 6 Ringers and the 10 and 2 Casalinga Cunnilinguists. Unfortunately, this reporter (as well as Joey Bag O', Bodie, and Pilk) were absent from the proceedings, but in general it seems that our new strategerie helped to hold the game tight until a final minute score to hand us the "L." Final score 5 to 6, with 2 goals by Phil, 2 from Marc, and another closer from Killer. Since I can't speak to the play-by-play, here are the verbatim wire reports...

"You missed a real nail biter. Tied up at 5-5 until about 1:40. I thinkchowder got a penalty and they scored. Sorry you missed it. Make sure you put another goal in my stats. I'm 2 for 2 baby!" - Email from Ken "Killer" Nuebler (#24)

"Your boys played well last night. Y'all would have won if they could stay out of the box" - Phone conversation with Hammer

"Nah, man. It was a great game, but I can't believe we lost - we shoulda beat those guys. I was so close to closing the deal a couple of times. Tried to get a few power shots off, you know? [flexes his bicep and gives it a kiss] Had the guns firing, you know?" - Conversation with Greg Weiss (#26)

"Eric played out of his mind." - Conversation with Joe Saundercook (#13)

"Mon mari a seulement marqué deux buts. C'est terrible. Je suis embarrassé pour lui." Translation: My husband only scored two goals. That's awful. I'm embarrassed for him. - Conversation with Marc Lavergne's wife

"Please update the stats for my goal last week. Thanks." - Second email later in the week from Ken "Killer" Nuebler (#24)